a dirty job

Remember these guys?

Yeah, they're dead. Not because they couldn't weather through winter, but because we didn't like them. So, as my mother taught me, if you don't like someone, get rid of them. Gardening shears are a good method.

Just kidding, Mom!

But seriously.

They're so dead.

They deserve it. They are evil. Sith Lord evil. They have these long, very nasty thorns and are just placed in a funky way, so there is a big, vacant area behind them. I know you're not supposed to plant too close to the foundation, but this was getting awkward. You could have a party back there. Or stake us out.

So, we took to aggressive negotiations. Name the movie.

Mike grabbed a 5 pack of yard bags at Home Depot, but he soon had to run to Lowe's, because our shears were no match for Darth Hedge. As I was snarfing a pizza, Mike said, "I need loppers." Okay, honey, sure. Go get'em!

Apparently that's a real thing.

They look like beaky garden shears, but they were "the best $18 I've ever spent," Mike declared two minutes into using them. They snapped right through the thick trunks and branches and unsnagged some gnarly roots later.

Mike chopped while I bagged. In the above photo, you see a ton of green under the dining room window. That's Darth Hedge's apprentice, Moonshadow Euonymus, which you'll get to see more of in a minute.

As we were working, our neighbors were dressed up and headed out. They shouted, "It looks better already!" from the car. We hope that means they also disliked the hedges and aren't internally panicking that we're a disgrace to the circle.

We had the hedge chopped down and the bags were filling fast. Even though the weather was perfect and we had our own little rock concert on the stoop, thanks to Pandora and Bluetooth, we were starting to get a bit weary and nervous. What had we done? Would we regret this? Holy crap, this was going to be a lot of work to fix up!

Once the hedges were chopped, Mike started on Moonshadow. It's a viney, gnarly thing that is supposed to grow around 4 feet wide and 24 inches high, but it definitely took a horizontal approach and seemed to spread out 6 feet either way. Mike raked it up into a bundle so we could get at the roots and chop.

Mike decided not to wear his notorious flip flops for this job. Smart man.

Once the viney thing was relatively free, we started pulling it out.

All the way to the street. Also, I'd like to say that Home Depot did not sponsor this post, but we would gladly accept any sponsorship and totally write advertorials for them if it meant some freebies! Just sayin'.

Once we had the majority of Moonshadow out, it was time to dig up all those roots and trunks.

Mike had this hefty job while I continued to bag all the rubbish, though I'd intermittently jump in with the loppers to cut roots. As we neared demolition's end, we tossed ideas back and forth. Obviously, our three baby rose bushes had one heck of a task to fill in the area, so we were trying to figure out our vision, which had somehow changed in the course of getting dirty and sweaty.

Mike's mom became our inspiration. Every time she comes over, she laments how much she wishes we had a front porch. Well, we couldn't get that written into the house contract, but it did get us thinking about what to do with this space. A little bench or two chairs and a little table would look cute under the window.

So, we are thinking of cutting a path up the center and creating a little nook under the window. Rose bushes and other stuff on either side. And then a trellis along either side of the entry way. I'll try to slap a mock up together this weekend. We have a good idea in our head, but it's going to take time (and money) to get there, so we're going to need to be comfy with pacing ourselves. Hopefully the neighbors can deal with that.

Oh yeah, and the house looks ginormous without those hedges. One of the pushes on the other side is dead, so we'll need to figure something out over there, too. Don't worry, My Lady, we won't leave you naked for long.

down and dirty and lovin' it

Last Saturday was a good intentions day that took a bit of a detour. Originally, I had planned to finish up the half bath and then proceed to touch ups in the master suite. But it was turning into such a beautiful day that after I laid on the first coat of trim, we headed outside to see what we could do.

Mike took on the garage. It had been pretty clean when we moved in ... but then we moved in. Many things just got shoved into the back to be dealt with later, and of course, our cars had tracked in salt and sand. So Mike put everything in order and gave the garage a bath.

We've decided we're going to rip up the gross carpet on the stairs and paint them sometime this summer.

After wandering around the house, I decided to take on the task of cleaning up leaves and random muck that has gotten into all of the flower beds. The first task was tackling the front hedge/bush thingies. I don't have a before picture on the very front, but I ripped up some dead bushes and leaves from the brick half-circle portion.

We'll plant some perennial flowers there, and now we think we'll rip out the hedges and plant rose bushes further back. These hedges have a weird, huge gap behind them that you can't see straight on, but you can from other angles. Behind it is this:

Someone was going for the most impact at the cheapest rate.

As I worked, I also got to enjoy my birthday present from Mike: Bluetooth speakers. Tired of lugging my big, corded speakers around, I asked for some wireless speakers, so whenever we're doing projects, I just have a little box (and laptop, tablet, or phone) to work around. This has already made life wonderful, and I have to say this is a safety purchase, not a luxury buy, because there are no cords to trip over. Totally practical.

So, while Mike slaved away in the garage, I rocked out in the flower beds. I have to admit I had very Walden Pond-esque (yes, that's a real English major term) thoughts and was very philosophical while getting snagged on vines and bushes.

The west side of our patio. Note the pile of leaves. I don't think they are ours, but I think we got lucky, judging from all the bags everyone had piled on their driveways during trash day. You can see the overturned hull of Old Blue between the two trellises.

We are still trying to figure out our garden placement, since the sunlight doesn't hit all day except for way in the back by the service boxes. We're thinking of doing an herb garden on the northeast corner.

There are a lot of rocks in this bed and plants starting to poke up, so it'd definitely need an overhaul. Mike's thinking of extending the bottom of the L out (so, not an L anymore), but we need to start tracking how light falls throughout the day. After midday, I think this area is completely in shadow. Hmm ...

Oh, and our sidewalk heaved over winter, so we couldn't open the patio door. Mike took it off and ground it down until it could swing freely. Our patio furniture has been wintering on the sidewalk, because the boats called dibs on the covered shelter. We'll be throwing them on the trailer soon and putting the chairs where they belong.

The east side of the house aka the garage exterior is full of rocks, chips, and hostas. We also need to take paint along the bottom edge of the siding to reseal it from moisture.

The back of our house also has some siding issues we'll need to start dealing with. The back/north wall is softening at the bottom, and we even have a chipped away spot that I think we should protect, even if we aren't replacing siding this summer. It's not bad yet, but I'd like to slow the progression down while we save up for new siding. 

Mike read that some people with this hardboard siding gradually replace it, especially at the bottom, with fiber cement siding, because 1) it's the best thing ever (we had it on the first house), and 2) it blends well with hardboard, so once the paint's on, you wouldn't know one from the other. Many people in our neighborhood have replaced their siding with vinyl, but I've seen some fiber cement, so we know there isn't going to be any HoA issues there. We tried to use the siding issues in negotiations to get our ideal price, but the sellers wouldn't have it. Oh well. We still got a good price (under appraisal!) and our brains are popping right now on how much other two stories are going for in this neighborhood with some basic updates. We got in at the right time! And we have a brand new roof, so I guess we'll just have to deal with a siding issue that we'd probably have in just about any other house we could've bought other than something brand new.

It's okay, house, we still love you.

She looks a bit imposing at this angle. I blame the front yard's slope.