Safety first ... or not

Yep, that's a knife under a cracked mirror.

Last Sunday Mike took a very personal dislike to the bedroom door. It just could not stand, man! So, while I started to work on the trim in the bathroom, Mike took the door off its hinges and basically took a knife to the problem. Better than an ax, I guess?

The mirror was not made of tempered glass. At one point, Mr. Safety realized that flying shards of glass could be bad for the eyeballs, so he went off to find some safety goggles. When he didn't find them, he re-commenced with the cutting (and some swearing). I offered to run to Lowe's down the street and buy some ... but that's a silly wifey thing to do.

As you can see, one set of P.O.s used a lot of super sticky mounting squares to put these 6 mirror squares on the door. Why they couldn't just get a regular mirror, throw nail in, and hang it all normal-like is beyond us. At 6 square mirrors, you're not really saving any money. Just what is the story behind this?

Eventually, Mike got every square off. Then it was time for the Goo Gone scrubfest. I had been painting and pretending my husband wouldn't need 911 at any moment. He survived. I survived. Now the back of our bedroom door has a big brown rectangle in the center. We'll prime and paint at some point. 

In other news, here are some paint sculptures!

The coolest part about latex paint is the fun of peeling it off buckets and trays after it dries. We get a ridiculous amount of satisfaction out of this. Once we figured this out, we stopped washing out trays and buckets during clean up. Then the next day, we just peel the paint off and toss it. Or ball it up and marvel.

Olympic vs. Valspar

Enough painting has been done, that we can now call ourselves experts (har har). At the very least, we can now with confidence share our preferred paint. So here's a breakdown of Olympic Icon vs. Valspar Ultra.

Olympic Icon
Zero VOC, Low Odor
Used in laundry room (Harbor Light, satin) and bedroom (Cozy Corner, eggshell)

Coverage: Each room required two coats of paint. The laundry room was primed, because the original yellow was very powerful, and we were doing a very light blue gray over it.

Texture: The paint seemed easy to work with. Liquid in the bucket and tray, but as long as we didn't overload the brush, it seemed to go on smooth (not drippy) on the walls. It also seemed forgiving when it came to brush strokes, such as getting into those tight nooks and crannies or touching up spots.

Odor: Mild. I never felt "fumey."

Valspar Ultra
Zero VOC, Low Odor
Used on trim (Ultra White, semi-gloss) and master bathroom (Gravity, soft gloss, Kitchen & Bath line of Ultra)

Coverage: Trim in the laundry and master both required two coats for good coverage. On the walls, it seemed to be uneven: some spots had excellent coverage, others barely any, even though it looked even while wet. Two coats for even coverage.

Texture: Thick! And dries very quickly, almost two quickly. We experienced this both with the trim and KB paint, so we don't think it was a fluke. Brush strokes in cutting in areas definitely show up, and even though the paint is thick, we still needed to do 2 coats, some areas three. Even though the Lowe's guy said Valspar is superior, we're not convinced. It's just too temperamental for us and amplifies any mistakes made. Part of this could also be due to the glossy finishes.

Odor: Valspar's definition of low is different than Olympic's. We had to take some breaks outside of the master to get some fresh air. It has a sharp odor, or at least the KB paint does. Then I remembered that one reason Young House Love prefers Olympic is that the colorants used are also low-to-zero VOCs, and so perhaps Valspar used the old cancer dyes and we were huffing carcinogens. So, I'd advise you where the proper mask if using Valspar K&B. The trim (Ultra in Ulta White base) seemed to be less pungent.

Verdict
Definitely Olympic Icon. Nicer on the nose and feels easier to work with. Plus it's $5-7 cheaper than Valspar. I'm sure there are DIYers out there who prefer Valspar, and that's okay. It's just not for us.

Paint me like one of your French girls

Okay, if you didn't get that Titanic pseudo-reference, I apologize. And, technically, it was a drawing, not a painting, but it's been a long day, folks.

So, what did we do today? Oh, all sorts of things!

1. We cleaned and checked out of the apartment.

American Gothic, anyone?

Was it bittersweet to say good-bye? Nope.

2. Went to the furniture mart to pick up the queen mattress set for the guestroom. One of these days I'll have to post an ode to our Harbor Freight foldable trailer, aka Frankentrailer. We took the boat bunks off it the other day, folded it up so we could both park in the garage. This morning we rolled it out, unfolded it, and slapped some plywood on the frame to provide a barrier between road spray and the mattress and box. It worked slick as could be. Came home with the mattress set, then carried them upstairs to the blue room and put it all together.

We still need to buy sheets and bedspread, but now our guests can sleep on an actual bed rather than the couch, as per the old house. And they'll have a real room, not the open living area. 

3. Then we commenced painting in the master bathroom. Second coated the shower room and did the first coat on the tub and sink area.

Remember, we removed the wallpaper from the toilet room, which was no small feat, as apparently there was some indecision on the builder/original owner's part regarding whether to paint or wallpaper and some slap-happy gluing. We used Kilz Premium for primer on the walls and trim, caulked around the trim and shower, and then painted the walls with Valspar Kitchen & Bath in Gravity. Kitchen and bath paint is supposed to be more moisture and mold resistant, but it was only available in soft gloss ... which shows every mistake. So any mistake done in spackling, sanding, or priming shows up loud and clear. So, I think if we ever repaint, we're going to go the satin route, so it's still wipeable but not quite so shiny.

We love this color and how much it transforms the look and feel of the place. Cutting in, the color looked like it might be a bit too dark, but once we had it fully on the walls, we were pretty happy. It coordinates nicely with the bedroom's deeper gray-blue Cozy Corner. We still have a lot to do, but it's getting closer. Right now we're showering in the upstairs bath aka Lighthouse Room.

So what else do we have planned?

• Paint the trim
• Paint cabinets
• Tear up the carpet and install slate floors, possibly with radiant heat
• Wood frame the mirror (Mike's project)
• Border the tub tile with wood trim to match the mirror frame (Mike's idea - coordinates with the frame  and covers the rough edge we currently have)
• Paint the cabinets
• Swap out mirror lights
• Orb spray non-faucet hardware
• Remove, super clean shower door, and re-install
• Clean/re-stain grout

The cabinets will probably wait until spring or summer, but we do want to do the shower door sooner than later, because we are rather grossed out by it. We're hoping we can pop it out, take it outside and just napalm it with cleaning and scraping. Mike is wondering if we can remove the glass and orb spray it to update the look of the chrome. I don't know how well it'll withstand continuous water exposure, but I'm willing to give it a try. With this house and DIY stuff, our attitude is "let's give this method a try, and if we ruin it, THEN we can replace it." For a $6 can of spray, we're willing to try it out before shelling over $$$ for a new shower door. They ain't cheap, folks.

4. We also put Woody and Old Blue (the boats) on their proper bunks, so now they can winter in the sun room off ice cold, concrete floor. The sails and spars went into the garage, where the previous owners have conveniently built a shelf the entire length of the right side. Can I get a heck yeah?

HECK YEAH!

As much as part of me wanted to either conquer bedroom touch ups or the first bathroom trim coat tonight, we both hit our wall and decided to make supper and relax to a movie (while I did this post, what don'tlookatmelikethat!). I'm hoping to do a little bit tomorrow and eat away at it during evenings next week.

So, what do you want to do with your house?

Paint me in

Mike thinks this is incredibly funny and told me to post it. A shot of my Google calendar. Yes, I scheduled some painting this morning before I go to work (it's my late day). How else are we going to get things done? Every time I try to return to the unfinished master bath, Mike orders me not to. Something about relaxing and enjoying the house.

Which I'd enjoy a lot more if we could use our bathroom ...

"Honey, does this house have an ark?"

We had our first homeowners' panic Sunday morning. It involved water squirting from places it shouldn't.

Our old washer and dryer were sold with the previous house, which was okay, since they were Craigslist finds. After some research and price agony, we finally bought a front load set from Samsung for a pretty darned good price. They were delivered on Dec. 30, but aside from spinning the dryer during installation, they hadn't been touched.

So, with the manual open on my laptop, we started to calibrate the washer so it can properly weigh the load and figure out the proper amount of water. A couple minutes in, we get a code that means no water is coming in. Okay, no problem, maybe we just need to release the valve.

We did.

And promptly went oh crap!

Mike turned into a blur of swears and pounding feet. Off to the basement he went to find the main shut off valve as the washer valve started singing and squirting water like ... a sailor? A drunken sailor wet from falling off the dock. Yeah, we'll go with that.

Downstairs, Mike had to find the main shut off. Which looked like this:

Yep. He had to contend with the London Underground. His panicked zigging and zagging upstairs and downstairs was him trying to figure out which of the 6 valves was the right valve. So, you know, we wouldn't blow a wet hole in the wall. There was lots of running, lots of shouting, towel wringing, etc.

Then the noise stopped, and he comes running back. For now, things seem to be okay on the not-flooding-the-house front, but Mike is still tense. I pull up YouTube and look up "leaking washer valve" and find a 3-minute video. Basically, we need to tighten a nut.

"Grab my toolbox!"

Okay! With a wrench, Mike tightens the nut, messes with the valve, and patters downstairs again with parting instructions to scream really loudly if water continues to squirt out. In a few seconds, there's a loud gurgle rolling through house, which is a pretty ominous sound. Like, if I were on the Titanic as it's listing from the bow, and heard this, I would think, "I guess it's time to get out of here." Because the tilted deck isn't a good enough sign.

Anyway, water comes gushing out of all of the sink faucets on the main floor ... but nothing comes out of the washer valve. Whew! I dash over to the basement stairs to let Mike know, and one by one, we shut off the sink faucets and build pressure at the washer valve. All clear!

High fives!

Then Mike brings me downstairs and shows me the London Underground that is our water cabinet. He'd had to guess where the main shut off was located, and in doing so, he thinks he opened flow to the automated sprinkler system. Which had been previously winterized and now might not be, putting us at risk for bursting pipes. But he took a bucket and opened up what looked like a release valve from the sprinkler valve and emptied the contents. Which wasn't much, so he'll do it again today, just to be safe. We hope.

Valves up top and valves below. Wanna roll some dice?

Once the panicked vision of burst pipes and soaked drywall faded, we ran a rinse cycle in the washer. Which was mesmerizing. We've never had a FL washer, and it was fascinating to watch. The concave door creates an illusion that the water is shooting out, but really its being directed into a drain (I assume, anyway). Also, it corrects drum imbalances, so if it starts rocking, within seconds it's back on quiet track. We basically sat in front of the washer and watched it go, just like kids sitting in front of the TV watching Saturday cartoons.

Yeah, we're easily fascinated.

Moving day!

Ow, ow, ow, owowowowowwww!

That's basically been our bodies' response since last night, when we pulled ourselves off the couches and dragged ourselves up the stairs. This is when I doubted the whole "two-story" concept. Mike spent the climb mocking me in a falsetto "Oh, I just loooooove two stories! I must have one! They're the beeeest!"

I think it's more a sign of how unfit we've become than we shouldn't have bought a two-story. We still love this house, which is good, because I don't think the bank would accept a "we changed our minds."

Anyway, we couldn't really have asked for a better move, even with the wind gusts. The news this morning reported 55 mph wind gusts, but I think that might have been after we returned the U-Haul, though it was windy enough! Our moving crew (friends and family we bribed with coffee and donuts and puppy dog eyes) arrived throughout the morning, so we had the U-Haul, a pick-up, SUV, and a couple of cars filled up and unloaded BY NOON.

Granted, many of the small things had already been transferred to the house, but we like to credit an awesome team. Go team!

There was some peril, of course. Mike wanted his massive, heavy workbench to go in the basement, where he wants to set up a workshop. The boys got the bench into the house and had to take a pause in the basement doorway and reassess ... then it was a careful, sweaty descent.

I was supposed to order pizza at this point, but considered calling 911 in advanced.

No holes in the wall. No injuries. They did have to pop off the workroom's door to squeeze the bench through, but it's there! I'm impressed.

While we had willing arms, we also took the boats off the trailer and docked them in the sunroom. They aren't properly supported right now, so we still need to remove the bunks from the trailer and set them under the boats. One thing at a time!

This ain't the lake!

By afternoon, our kitchen was a disaster area.

It's a bit better this morning, though we still have a box or two somewhere around here to unload and random detritus are scattered around.

The living room became the debate as we plopped down on couches and snarfed down pizza. Mike and I are determined not to block a window or shorten the TV's already established life by hanging it above the fireplace. The consensus among the men (and one enabler woman) was that, obviously, we needed a bigger TV. I think this is the man cure for most of the world's problems. 

Eventually we settled on basically our original plan, though things are shifted a few inches here and there. After the house cleared out, we spent probably a good 20 minutes shifting furniture a few inches one way or another until we found an arrangement we like for now. There are still two shelving sets that will probably go elsewhere, because they crowd up the space, but one thing at a time.

What amazed us, aside from this is our house omg!, was how quickly the spaces fill up/cozy up. The living room always felt big, even though we knew it was a bit awkward for furniture arrangement, and now it feels about the same size as our old house (just less open).

A look into the living room with a rough placement of furniture.

The exception to shrinking space is the master. Last night we set up the sliding white shelves we've used as beside storage and made up the mattress, because we were too darn tired to put together the Ikea frame. We put our heads on our pillows and started giggling. From the vantage point of the ground and the far wall, you truly feel just how ridiculously big is - this is a room that won't be filling up anytime soon. We're so glad we went with Cozy Corner, because it does bring the room in. A little. 

Anyway, now that the furniture was placed, it was time to hook up the Internet and cable. We had intended to just bunny ear it like we always have, but we wound up with a promo deal for faster Internet and select cable channels (like HBO!) which is only slightly more expensive than straight up SLOW Internet that we've lived with for years and keeps getting more and more expensive.

So, we were pretty excited for HBO, Starz, etc. and fast Internet for a year (we've got the contract end date locked into Google Calendar). Of course, in exchange for this, we had to deal with the big, ugly cable box:

So. One big, ugly box that doesn't fit into our TV shelf. Then we discovered that the cable hookup for the room is exactly where we didn't want the TV to be but it explains why the Previous Owners placed the TV where they did. The cable pops up from the carpet just past the step down between the kitchen and living room.

So, we have to run a cord from the northeast corner of the room, past the fireplace, and then to the west wall.

McKayla Maroney is not impressed.

We wound up finding a cable line in the library, which we think we can subtly run under the library cabinets and around the wall edge. It'll be a bit less obvious and in the main sight lines, anyway. BUT THEN the Internet was working. 

Mike tramped all over the house testing the modem on the different cable hookups. Basically, all the bedrooms have cable hookup, but only one - the one in the kitchen/living room entryway - worked for Internet. Oh, you quirky house. So, our cable now runs from the library, the Internet from the line popping out of the carpet. We figure we'll find a cute little planter table at Garden Ridge or Home Goods to set a plant on the top and tuck the modem in a basket on the lower shelf.

So, our to-do list today:

• Enjoy the morning in our new house
• Put the laundry room door back on, so we can start doing laundry (it's blocking the washer)
• Go for a walk around the lake (it might get to 60 today)
• Work on the library
• Put more crap away
• Take garbage to a dumpster (and get white trash bags, as per city orders)
• Get a trash can, since the city won't pick up trash not in cans

The house that wasn't

Before we found our home, there was another house. Although we love our new home, we will always wonder about this other house that we call the Ranch House.

This was a house we took a good month of dreaming, debating, and researching before we put in an offer. It was a 1971 red brick ranch stuck in a time warp. The listing stated it was “as is” with “deferred maintenance,” but it had a double lot. At the time, the listing agent had yet to post photos, but our house was now under contract and the double lot was too intriguing to pass up.

Going in, I was more cautious than Mike, who was focused on the potential of the double lot and improvement, ah, opportunities. But it also had an emotional draw as it reminded him of his grandmother’s house. Despite my desire for a two story, I was also charmed. The brick was in fantastic shape, the lot beautiful. Much of its datedness was also cool, and we’re not hipsters. The entryway had a fantastic green tile that we would never rip out if we could help it and we loved the parquet floors in the parlor.

It was a good size and layout for us. Not too big, but we had room to grow. We would be happy with one child, even two there and the occasional guest, but we wouldn’t have the McMansion issue of unused rooms. Mike liked the outdated kitchen - and he’s picky. It had a wonderful parlor room that would be a perfect library, especially if we added french doors. The family room, an addition to the house, had some amazing shag carpet (we would not keep) and an impressive fireplace, but had a good cozy cabin vibe. The original living room, the center of the home, could become a mix use space, where we could have huge family dinners or the kids play and work on schoolwork. The basement, aka the Lava Room, had this fire red carpet and dark paneled walls, complete with a mirror wall and a bar. The house had charm, it was begging for some love, and we could see what it could become.

BUT.

The roof, we could see, might need repair or replacing. Some of the windows were failing. We wanted to expand the closet of a master bath into the closet, shift the master wall into the original living room and put a closet on that side, and, of course, we wanted to make cosmetic changes to all the living areas. We thought the Lava Room could remain for awhile as an entertainment lark. Because it was that groovy.

We debated. When Mike wanted to make a move, I would back off. When I took the plunge, Mike whoa’d me back. Then, finally, after a month, we decided to go ahead and pay for a home inspection prior to putting in our as-is bid. When we told our agent to get permission from the listing, we were told that offers were coming in on the Ranch House.

Well, crap. So we put in an offer we thought was fair, considering what repairs we could spot with our Bambi eyes, wrote a heartfelt letter, and held our breath. Our agent came back and said a total of 5 offers had come in on the house, one including a cash-no contingency offer above our price, but that our letter won the owner over and that she countered at the cash offer’s price. We said okay and ordered a home inspection with a company that had a reputation for being tough. Our previous research regarding home inspections revealed that often those on the agent’s “recommended” list pay to be there and tend to be soft on the inspection.

Mike and I arrived, nervous but hopeful, and it basically went downhill from there. The roof was actually in better shape than we expected, and the foundation also was in good shape. And that’s pretty much where the good news ended.

1) Mold in the attic due to a roof leak and very poor ventilation

2) Mold in the basement due to a past sewer back up - basement needed gutting

3) Most windows needed replacing

4) Addition siding needed repair/replacing

5) Electrical needed a full upgrade

6) House air intake came from the garage, so that needed blocked

7) Roof needed partial replacing

8) Iron stack needed replacing

9) Chimney had several issues

10) Some plumbing needed replacing

11) Other miscellaneous

Getting the house into healthy shape would’ve wiped out our entire renovation budget before we could get to the pretty stuff. Mike and I reached the same conclusion while walking through the inspection and let our agent know that evening (he didn’t show up to the inspection). Later we found out, as the inspectors were picking up the radon test, that there hadn’t been a cash-no contingency offer on the home or even that many offers. We’d already felt awful about the Ranch House and now felt completely misled and betrayed by our agent. It was time to move on from both.

The house just closed this week for 4k less than our final offer had been. We wonder. Do they know what’s in store for them? Is it someone who can give the house the love we couldn’t afford to? Or is it someone who hopes to do a sloppy flip? We hope it’s the former, that someone will appreciate it and can afford to make it healthy and happy.

As we’ve been painting and de-wallpapering our new home, we’ve talked about the ranch. Not with regret, just curiosity - and RELIEF! Our colonial is outdated, yes, but in pretty darn good shape, aside from some common siding issues. What little work we’ve done so far is the faintest of tastes of what we would’ve been in for with Ranch House. Aside from health risks and, oh yeah, the 5 different ways the house could slowly or quickly kill us, our marriage and quality of life would’ve suffered if we’d focused on what could be and not hard, cold reality.

We still can’t believe we have the home we do. It’s beautiful. It’s outdated. Some of the things we loved about Ranch House, we love in this one: the sunken family room with a fireplace and wood beams, the perfect library room, the way it begs us to make it ours. But it’s safe. It’s close to a lovely lake. New roof, good windows. Yes, it’s a small lot and isn’t in our #1 school district. But it’s also closer to stores, the neighborhood is stable and people take care of their homes, and best of all … we’re not scared of it. Even as we were falling in love with Ranch House, we were scared. It took us a month and with some pressure to put an offer on it. For a first house as a couple, we took a HUGE bite … and had to spit it back out.

We’re so grateful for this house. But we will always wonder about Ranch House. This spring, we will drive by it and keep tabs on it, and maybe someday we’ll be brave enough to knock on the door and introduce ourselves to the new owners. Bring some cookies and ask for a tour. Not as some form of torture, because we now know it was not the right house, but because we did invested ourselves emotionally and mentally, and we still believe it to be a beautiful home … for someone else.